Sam Cooke

Had an hour to kill, my 9:15 moved to 10, so I went to the mall to get coffee ‘cause it was close by. It’s not my normal thing.

The barista was 3 or 4 generations after when I had come here a lot. Met my son’s mother here. I always tell him that - upbeat - ‘cause I want it to be a good thing he remembers. Maybe that’s why I don’t do this anymore.

Thought I’d kill some time walking, had my headphones in playing Sam Cooke. I was dressed in my only suit and looked amazing. A gay shop keeper passed me like I passed hot girls in school.

Those are the only people here in the mornings: people who work here and mall walkers, and gym rats who I observed piling in the side entrance like they were late in all sorts of ill-fitting spandex.

Some of the mall walkers were already sitting in their VFW groups. They all had coffee from a different shop. They talked and laughed; they looked alive, they looked happy.

Others were struggling to do the required miles as I passed them, dressed in the latest elderly wear. Lots of couples, no one walking next to the other just in close proximity.

I love this mall.

I chose to walk the old mall. It’s the smell really, the combined caramel corn with perfume stench that brings back all that childhood wonder. I don’t remember anything in particular, I just remember how I felt.

The coffee’s hot.

Got offered an audition for another movie last night. I stepped a little quicker and stood up straighter. I was different now. Shot my student film here with my brothers Dre and Drew. I buy Dre a business license today. Shooting that film was one of the best days of my life. Top 5.

I played Sam Cooke’s “Change Is Gonna Come” on purpose. Last time I was here I played “Chain Gang.”

I was different now: I wasn’t walkin’ in circles anymore; I was going somewhere.